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Breaking up with Tinder


Tinder. We need a chat. It's not quite working out for us, is it?

I have tried countless times to try and get on with you. And, while I can't deny that you are wonderful for a pick me up when I feel like crap, in the long run it's just not going to work out for us for a number of reasons.

First of all, I can't deal with how shallow you are.You should actually be called "Does this person mutually fancy you?" because even when you get a Match, it is almost impossible to form any kind of decent conversation with 99% of people on there. It was fun and games at first. I had such a laugh with you playing 'Hot or Not' with all these men you were parading in front of me, but I can't keep playing games with you forever Tinder... The buzz you get from getting a match is just too short lived!

So, I might have 70 or 80 matches, wonderful, but how many of these do I speak to? You've set us all up for a fail really because both parties are only chatting because we think the other is eye candy and now you're making us have awkward small talk. And some people have the worst, and I mean the WORST, awkward small talk going.

For example, how are any of these lines acceptable ways to initiate conversation?!:
  • "Nice eyes."
  • "Wow babe!"
  • "Squirt much?" (yup - really)

You were the one who encouraged this Tinder! It's not the best way to start a conversation in all honesty and I can't say I've had much success from the guys who go down this route. I've not had much success from overly posed guys, guys with tigers/elephants/koalas, guys wearing vests with tribal sleeves nor headless torsos with a nice view of the gym behind them. But, the problem is, you're pretty much full of these.

I am sick to death of being asked about my sexual preferences and being told how hot I look. I appreciate that people use your app for casual hook ups, each to their own, but I don't want to be forced into feeling uncomfortable and then, after rejecting them, being harassed or subject to a torrent of abuse. Not great, Tinder, not great.

Another bad thing you do is make my life super awkward by suggesting I match with people I know in real life. Surely, if we have 50 mutual friends and we were interested in each other, we'd have probably spoken to each other in real life?! I'm always mortified when I see friends I know on Tinder (but I'm also mortified if they don't Super Like me cuz that's just courtesy - right?!) and it happens too often. Too many people my age are milling about on Tinder and I'm not down for them (sorry everyone I know IRL - I love ya'll really). You're almost like the annoying friend that constantly tries to play Cupid and match random friends together... it doesn't usually work!

You do everything you say on the tin - you match people based on looks. But, despite our generation being the ones known for being social media obsessed, it is really difficult to form a solid relationship with someone via an app. I can see the benefits of this kind of app and it is good for meeting a lot of new people in a short time. Or if you feel rubbish and need a good pick-me-up. But that's about it for me. Long story short Tinder, it's me, not you. Sorry!

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1 comment

  1. "Squirt much?". Classy! 😅😅😅

    I've been in a relationship since Tinder was released so I've never had the pleasure of using it. You post made me laugh though.

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